if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
