I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just gargled with NyQuil
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
