HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
