I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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