He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
