Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
