What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
