it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
