maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
