apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
