You really coming over, don't trick.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize