something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
