so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
