So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
The air taste purple.
Randomize
