don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
