well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
