wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
