I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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