I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
