The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
