Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
