STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
