Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
