So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
