He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
