can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
