Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
