stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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