you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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