i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize