Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Even the bartender felt bad for me
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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