yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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