hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
