is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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