i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
