I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
