Is it normal to miss your booty call?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
