I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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