just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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