So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
