The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
