Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Drake has all the answers
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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