Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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