that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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