Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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