The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
