For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
