How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
