your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
