Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
