"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
