One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Too much gin, very little bucket
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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