A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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