sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
