..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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