who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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