She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
