do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Randomize
