Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
