no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
